2023 February 15 08:44 P.M. – 8:51 P.M. Wednesday EST
“What Could Have Been” and “All the Wasted Years”
Life used to be big and open and I felt young and like I had forever to live. I had to come home from college and saved myself living with my parents. I posted online and was looking to be a film actor.
However, at the end of 2009, I was framed like I was in trouble without saying. I lost my connection/rapport… I had to keep going. I came across different people online. I found some cool popular/famous people, too, along the way. In 2016, I wanted to play violin and felt discouraged. In 2021, I moved and I also felt discouraged and wound up with money problems. I might sell and even start with modeling and get into acting.
So, anyway, it’s been 17 years, and I don’t know if I really even know anyone my age. It seems like Facebook is all over. Looking at the following picture makes me jealous and discouraged about the life I never had. Instead, it’s for people older than me and their kids who are now this age.
Also, I see the peppy female news reporters etc. maybe a couple years older than me. They are the most popular years of my generation. They were very supple, bubbly, and socially intelligent. They are just assimilating themselves in the game with more serious and less fortunate years of our generation.
(9:01 P.M.) It’s sad to see our parents die, but we could have had more privacy and not dwell on these inevitable things that exist in life. Instead, it seems to be all over and our older peers or younger parents seem to have given up and make a big deal about it…
2023 February 16 01:30 P.M.-01:36 P.M. Thursday EST
“Nicer Moving to the Worst Place of My Life Than Living Here”
Slamming doors, loud footsteps, and strange noises, in a studio apartment, in West Cleveland, Northern Ohio, to which I was eventually was able to flee when left in a dangerous group home. I moved to the area when my parents died, to the group home, but found it was not nice. I did want to work and stay where I was awhile, in an apartment. Not much moving from there to here, Orlando to Ohio. I was in Orlando with my parents for 15 years.
At least, in Orlando, MySpace and Facebook were still at a peak in their time. There was some hope for the future, at different times. Cleveland, this place is a spoiled dump. Everywhere I was had their problems, some resulting from the place I lived before. You know, things like classical music, ballet, etc. are always pressing on us and we may not have money to have a good time. I moved from the real world to Orlando, an unfamiliar environment I had to get used to over time, a little too used to.
2023 February 18 01:07 A.M. – 01:09 A.M. Saturday EST
I come across nice, friend-able people who possess a modern outlook and in some ways even a rebellious and exciting spirit. They just give me the sign to go and live my dreams. I know one must be this lady, and there are people who are playing around preventing me from having this “relationship” or my own feelings about her.