January 13, 2023 02:20:18 P.M. Friday EST

I wanted to do Piano Performance, Organ Performance, Vocal Music Education, Instrumental Music Education, and the Ballet minor/program … and Club Gymnastics for awhile at the college nextdoor. My college was Catholic of a specific order and had an attractive music program. They made me pick one major area and had to pick one major instrument. They didn’t say anything 2nd semester about my work in piano when they gave too much homework in Music History. They said the reason I had to do only Organ Performance or leave was because I was shy.

I thought my group singing teacher was monitoring me in private, and people were connected communicating to me that way. It got in my way that summer wanting to practice music on beginner violin, piano, organ, singing, and beginner flute/oboe. I tried to say I was interested that they claimed things like that my whole life had been monitored in private. They suggested I might have another life in the arts and family waiting for me, and, so, I wanted to focus on making sure that transition was mot some joke or bait. I even wanted my old life back. Things got worse musically. I ended up in all general studies to get it out of the way. It was too hard, non-honors this time… and my high schools did not prepare me. So, I had to pick a major or re-audition on music and had to come home. I wanted to “make it” and make money acting in movies, but my family moved and got mean to me and I got fat hiding from them in my room, posting online. I lost the musical instruments I had, too, and the power of my singing voice from not talking, I did not know! I hit my wall and table when upset online and from TV, and it was hard to start violin, again.

People think I “hurt” my dad by flunking college, but he was supposedly at least somehow involved in destroying my school career.