I had so much fun doing the fries! The oil doesn’t seem to splash. I had to be quick. I did the whole thing for the fries. First, I did “prep,” which is preparing vegetables etc. but no cutting involved, just opening boxes and bags.

Some girls asked why I wouldn’t marry someone there, it seemed, who has an African-American dad and an American mom, I think. I think he is 1 year younger or around my age.. interesting.

So, I’m thinking of Asian dating and lurking Asian dating sites and actually also want to move to Germany. Some African-Americans marry European-American women. Other races or combined races also mingle etc… I would forget Latin American. I think one of the biggest things is it’s not about race but what the other person feels personally about your race when having kids. It’s also how they feel about your parents compared to your aunts and uncles and their families and what it seems to have going for some people, often not fair to some people.

They gave up when I said I didn’t want a man who would divorce me.

My parents didn’t want me to complain about our detriments due to unfairness or where we ended up, like it wasn’t right to worry, I think. Now, everyone is all over it, and it’s stressful to me. I know they got sick and died, and seems unlikely in comparison to certain beliefs as to why. It could have been bad luck.

People just want to point out imperfections, without saying.

So, I might make spaghetti tonight or pizza tacos. I want to make wings, maybe tomorrow morning. I’m making those parmesean and buffalo wings. I still have to get cornstarch. Today, I got my groceries delivered. I have a week before I get more money and am running low, hope this never happens to me in another way or again.

I think people don’t have to ruin my life when I say something smart, like I can’t live because of my race. I’m already in a mole hole. I know my situation. This self-hatred was started when people realized their parental generation is going to die in less time and some already have. They hate themselves and think they know it was their parents who could have prevented this from happening. I must say it’s subconsciously superstitious, in obviousness.

I want to live my life and enjoy myself without these lies about how I have to have my life ruined. I just realize so I’m not shy and it’s about like if you’re very American or not, things like that. I may not be as picky as a European-American, but I have the same background, experience, and life if living here in this culture means anything anymore. They all thought of Europe and parts started ditching their US heritage. Obviously, Europeans seem to have it better, racially. We’re all still individuals, but Europe has stuff and is “holding out” for the US, I’m projecting. Even non-European countries outside of the US.

I have to wash and hang dry my clothes for work, as I’m doing daily now with a little washer. I’d like to tidy up. I can make a lettuce salad, among some other things. I might make some spaghetti and meatballs. I can have a snack.

I like my job, “couldn’t be happier.”