Is Cleveland not socially intelligent enough for me, mostly. I was advised by the police to get out of the city because of the danger. I may not have enough money to do that until over a year! but it is possible if I get money from Lejeune, soon.

So, where to? Maybe, I shouldn’t wait to go to Germany, though people try to tell me it’s really bad. I have to contact an “embassy” here, still. I know there are jobs for English speakers, but I don’t know about English speaking communities or living. I want to learn German, too, and started. years ago. I guess I will go for Freiburg so I can see the orchestra before it falls apart, as members get older. I’ve been following this orchestra online since 2016, every day, mostly. It’s a loving city but doesn’t hit the spot and probably isn’t for everyone necessarily, close to France and Switzerland/Italy. It’ll do, but I love the orchestra, though I don’t always fit in. Nice people there, too, reminds me a little of Orlando, where I lived for years with my parents, and Cleveland where I am now. I agree it’s a bit “day to day” in feel and that orchestra bustling about and getting to travel the world except the US etc. It’s like WWI, they ignore a challenge and pick sides. I just learned about WWI, seems like a normal fight, unlike WWII, but people die and get hurt physically.

People here think if I reacted physically like stomping my foot a little when mad that that’s it I’m a danger, and it’s like no one notices they’re all bad people to me and they even “started it.” Anyone is mean to me, it seems, and no one deserves to dominate me, for it. I’m a good person. I shouldn’t be tormented because my dad was “ticked off” I flunked college, like it was my fault my high schools did not prepare me or my junior high schools. Other people listened, unfortunately, and still do to this day, all seeming to claim they don’t actually believe in it. I get tormented for thinking of bad words, too, just some day to day vocabulary in this kind of “day and age.” My dad really went down on me to be that way when I was upset and posted about it on my blog or something, maybe was just mad cursing but not illegally, and people were being illegally mean to me… They want me to believe these things and “point fingers at” me if I don’t depending on if I’ve met anyone since in these past years or anything. So, I am not mean and dangerous, and no one would attack me for that reason since I don’t do that.

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