I sprayed my laundry. I didn’t get to sleep much 2 nights ago and worked 2 shifts to sub someone MIA (“missing in action.”)

I will probably take a full shower, with the Bath & Body Works beach set, with perfume/spray.

It’s only 11:52 AM. I missed church and choir this morning. I should be ready by 1:30 PM.

I have to leave to catch a bus at 2 PM. It’s 11:44 PM. I should leave by around 1:30 or 1:45 PM.

Therefore, I am an adult and “in the business.” It’s all from here. I just need a different/new project.

My dad endorsed me on LInkedIn, and now he’s dead.

I know people who don’t sing or who can just act are really excited and sound more emotional when they start to sing, and I want to hear things like this.

When I was young, it was all about if you drank alcohol or not. It wasn’t 2 things, 1, sometimes.

I was a part of reality!

Honey Nut Cheerios

2 Eggs

Low Sugar Iced Coffee

I just got my Instacart+ order within like an hour fo $2 extra. I’m sipping my lemonade and have my soda in the freezer and refrigerator.

I got a bunch of soda and lemonade, plus 3 meals of beer brats with bell peppers.

I know it’s late, 2:16 AM and I have to wake up at 5 or 6 for work at 10:45.

I noticed people.

There was this girl with one of those German-looking moms, here in the US. The girl looked so cute and perfect with bleached hair, maybe brown eyes, pale. Her mom was probably blonde with coarse hair. Her hair was very straight and smooth and thick. It was in a ponytail and probably spiky. She was on the shorter side but maybe taller than me, so maybe 5’3”? She had a baby. Her mom was like, “But … you wanted one?” like she respected her more than her baby.

After a musical, a floutist came out with her family. She had short, spiky, dyed red hair, dark red. Her husband was around her height, slumped over and blonde, looked like a fun professor of the day. The daughter, the only child there at least, was just a little shorter with smooth probably naturally mostly white hair. She was talking animatedly. It was like their family did the right thing and was accepted.

…So, that is to say, my family and I were not as accepted, after all, just because of race. People hate me as a successful person, though, no thanks to my family later on, in strong ways. We used to be like those families. Just don’t look at my mom’s race etc. A lot of families are accepted with Asian moms, or dads, even by Germans and in Germany, still. Huh?

I posted this in the 4th column as “Supremacy Surprise.”

Germany likes Americans who are “good” as in “the good stuff” but not as into being European or German. They think that Americans who are into being European or German, for whatever incentive, are just small versions of them with nothing to offer, in the end-

Anyone?

I took a shower.

I have “The Nutcracker” on my laptop.

My mom did ballet. I feel I’m good at it but no one notices. I didn’t get to do it growing up. I did do it a little and in college, as a declared minor with experience and capability/potential.

I’m doing violin for church and practiced for church maybe an hour today.

I’m thinking of making spaghetti and frozen meatballs, very easy.

I got some fresh air from a walk. I want to practice violin. Work at 3 PM, wake up at 9 AM. Work again Saturday sometime after 10 AM.

3-7 Yyes! Black Friday!!!

I’m practicing for church. I did the warm up type stuff for like 15 minutes or so. I finally had labeled all the songs I knew or liked in the hymnal, writing the page numbers and song titles on the labels, maybe 200, some tunes repeating. I took a break after working on 2 of these songs. I did play a little classical but not much, after the warm up type stuff. I took a break because I was getting tired not wanting to think or whatever.

I just had my Honey Nut Cheerios and iced coffee.

I am manned for before and after work with Lunchables: pizza and nachos, as well as cheese and nuts etc.

Cleveland is a spoilsport, think they don’t have what it takes and so make a scene before they back down. I need to get outta here, maybe Florida again, Southeastern Florida.

It sounds like a lot of what I experience in Cleveland is being intruded by people who won’t give me a chance.

No one ever said they wanted these mean people in Cleveland to get in my business, anyway.

People think I’m not that good, but I don’t have problems.

It’s what I don’t get that’s missing, not something wrong with me.

People who have been inflicting pain on me for things they are to learn in the future that I already know … that is not right.

I know what Early Generation X did and does. Other people put on a pretty show, but everyone looks at me and makes it so it doesn’t work out for me, anymore.

Before you get to get extremely stimulated like others, there are intermediary steps, which are either mandatory or optional.

Classical Music

I am born in 1986 and know about Late Generation X and our generation with parents and guardian generations etc.

It’s already 9:41 PM, and I showered and am in bed!

I was waiting for groceries on this busy day before Thanksgiving, delivery with Instacart+. I feel safe and secure more to eat before and after work and have food for the rest of the month. My younger brother is ignoring me when I ask for savings, too, since I thought I’d already have a higher paying job. I will now, though. I’m finishing up helping with Santa photos for $10/hour and then plan to get another job while I get licensed to sell part time, should make $100K selling to 4 people a week. I already am good at repeating selling photos from Santa, got better at it as time went on. I am trying to work at Popeye’s or McDonald’s, only 1 bus away form home, after this, but I wasn’t table to do an interview with things to do. This job is over December 24th. 1 month left of fun! though it’s stressful living far away and not having much money to worry about at the same time.

So, I did laundry with a new washer, a small one for my studio apartment. It’s quite small. I had to dry my stuff in the apartment laundry room in 2 cycles. I didn’t wait in the room, anymore, after the 1st cycle. It’s so overbearing. I was tired and hungry and uptight.

Now, day is done. My Instacart came like 3 hours late, since it’s Thanksgiving.

Let’s pray I get through this, can’t believe my younger brother thinks he can deal my savings. He already wanted me out of the house when my parents died. People have intervened my peace and serenity socially living far away, too.

I needed to dry my laundry a 2nd time it was so wet or something.

I’m cooking my burgers.

Why don’t people go “line up” for Hollywood and “mind their own business?”

I’m in a developmental stage late, still young.

I’m tired and hungry, and, therefore, I do not like being in here, I feel physically drained and thirsty. I’m looking forward to my cherry Coca Cola; I got a 2 liter.

Do you think I’ll ever get my “big break?”

All this mess won’t help.

I’m in the laundry room drying my clothes. 49 minutes total, 45 left.

I think I’m gonna dry my clothes tonight. I still have a little left to wash, could do it tomorrow. Work Friday and Saturday!

My order started!

They tear you down if your schools were bad but you did good in them.

I am not working taking 2 buses. Only 1. Maybe Popeye’s or McDonald’s, but I was unable to schedule an interview..

Plus, I have the sales job to get certified for, officially hired! $100K/year part time I was told, 4 families a week! I already sell Santa photos sometime and know what it’s like to repeat the same thing, to the different customers.

Up and down.

It actually went back to 7:30 PM.

It keeps being bumped later.

The other washer broke, but I can’t get a hold of them, have to contact Amazon, but how about a lunch?

I guess I’ll monitor my clothes and dry them by tomorrow maybe in the apartment dryer, the socks at least and probably the regular clothes. I’m hanging my clothes for work.

I can reschedule, but it runs til 11 PM, I think I read.

I’m washing more clothes.

I was on the phone about my May benefits, it may take 2 months from late October, so maybe by the New Year 2023..

7 PM now

Now, my grocery order may not come til 6:30 PM, postponed since like 4:30 or 5 PM.

It’s pretty nifty, though the instructions, like many, were incomplete..

I’m making hamburgers tonight. Instacart+ from Aldi.

Do you rely on me as an excuse for your racism?

I can spend $114 the rest of November, 8 days if you include today.

Online Posts by Me

https://filmboards.com/board/p/20981082/permalink/#p20981082

Professionally? For something like violin or whatever you really need to have started probably no later than 7 or 8 years old.

People want to know “what’s good.”

No one’s too old to play music as a hobby.

Why hobble along, like a life dragging chains?

It’s literally a battle between good and evil, good being Early Baby Boomers and their “faithful subjects” and bad being Late Baby Boomers and their rebellious “minions” who won’t comply with older generations like Early Baby Boomers included.

I edited the posts I featured, took down some.

Online Posts by Me

https://filmboards.com/board/p/20980518/permalink/#p20980518

It’s very true that highly accomplished musicians, singers, and whatnot enjoy feedback from people who don’t play.

What highly accomplished musicians, singers, and whatnot don’t enjoy is people who want to break into the field chasing after or clinging to them. It’s a mystery, and it’s history.

When a music professor told me to go away, I didn’t and felt confused being rejected in college, and she said I was worthless. It makes me suspicious because I was just kicked out of singing, Vocal and Instrumental Music Education, and piano as a major instrument. That means they were up to no good. The Music Education teacher said I was “sneaky,” like it was a coveted program in which I was unwelcome. I don’t know for sure if they knew I loved my programs and the school. They said I was welcome to try another post secondary school, like another one in the same city. However, their program was “cuter.” No one seemed to talk about it or have to think about it much at my level. My roommate pitched in that it was mean if [after I was accepted] for a year that their turning me down was wrong. She was an Education major, and they closed the Education program, when we were even encouraged, my class year in general, to minor in Secondary Education. I think what would be appealing would be to get a Bachelor’s in directing for film. I know sometimes they have big people in the business cater to children in the field, as well. In fact, I decided the other day I should move to L.A. It would be a dream to move there when I was in New Orleans. I came home to Orlando, where we moved after Hurricane Katrina destroyed our house and New Orleans. I thought Disney filmed there, but they didn’t film things like Pirates of the Caribbean there!

I think music as a skill or connection is an experience of transcendence to other forms of reality.

Online Posts by Me

https://filmboards.com/board/p/20980428/permalink/#p20980428

In real life.

So, like you must know by now, I did piano. My college had an afterschool program for children who played piano like 4 or 5 days a week. My private instructor actually taught it, and piano was my major instrument, along with doing other things like taking private organ lessons.

I feel it’s become accepted that I’ve transitioned as a lost soul or something or other from piano to violin, as violin is considered more specific musically and more collaborative, in the making.

My piano instructor in college taught me more about perfecting simple technic/technique and things like how a line in piano is the same as an instrument in the orchestra or band playing the same song. Basically.

My organ teacher in high school sure beat around the bush for that choir all those years and is there doing it to this day, retired from teaching Talented Music in public schools in the area. Anyway, she taught me how to perfect my legato on organ or rather to eliminate it and be more detached. I did my pedal exercises faithfully, and I was all good and well, “up to snuff,” as I like to say. She hinted me in on things and I was a whiz to pick it up. I got good at trills by the time I came back from college a year.

I wanted to take Music Appreciation in college when I was still in high school but only could take Art Appreciation. My dad kept boasting about Beethoven’s 5th, “dun dun dun dun” having taken Music Appreciation. I took music history courses etc. myself as a music major and did speeches on it. I also did some learning of Music Education and even got to use it as one of my majors in music for awhile.

Column 4 – Online Posts by Me

Online Posts by Me

https://filmboards.com/board/p/20980369/permalink/#p20980369

My friend said the same thing about Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka, was a Pirates fan but didn’t see this.

I’m creeped out by the outcome and effect in Hollywood. I’m impressed with its impact on the world in 2005.

I was mostly drawn in by Johnny Depp’s acting, pretty much, and interesting co-acting response. It was quite drawn in by its quality and quantity. All that experience in acting built up. He lived the dream, and now that dream is gone, Hollywood, France, but I wouldn’t wanna be him and get tattoos and practice maybe substance abuse.

Johnny Depp does seem to believe in older people and normal people who are popular. He doesn’t think he’s better than everyone else and like no one deserves anything. I wonder how long that will last.

I had a friend who seemed to want to visit with me after I moved and must have changed her mind. Okay, but why is this still a problem on my part or is it? People seem to be haunting me about it.

Late Baby Boomers making Generation X feel bad and making them mean to Generation XY.

I labeled the songs I know/like to play violin at a church.

I am being careful with my groceries and see I have more money to use but haven’t bought it yet, via Instacart. Wal-Mart actually is busy last I saw til Saturday, for Thanksgiving, Thursday. 

I’ll get another job first.

I can work part time, sell to 4 families a week, and make $100K/year.

I got accepted to sell! I have to study and take a test, a license.

We’re actually making sure too someone is like someone, in a way that sneaks in an experience others can’t have, but no problem with that that person is successful and over others, as they seem to agree about concerning others.

I might be able to work not too long a trip from home, like at fast food restaurants.

I applied for some other things.

I already am being contacted about selling, would need to sell to 4 families a week to make $100K/year. I would work from home, maybe mostly. I was hoping for a guaranteed steady income, too, but it doesn’t look like it.

I read you could get over a million dollars compensation from Lejeune, but it may take awhile if we get anything at all. After all, I wanted to practice violin and my parents got sick and died over 4 years, 2 years each in a row.

To sell, I need to study to get licensed. This company doesn’t sound as intimidating as the last one. I wonder if the licensing is the same.

Where should I live? I was thinking of Fort Lauderdale. I was born there. It has a nice culture, but it doesn’t seem to get very cold ever. I want to move to Germany and am trying to learn German.

The thing Is I have bills to pay, credit line debts I used for groceries and DashPass. I have to pay for groceries and sometimes eating out now, too. If I work a part time job should do the trick. I may owe $6K. I have some savings I’m not supposed to use, unless for emergencies.

I finally cleaned my room! It did not take very long.

Now, I have to see about the new little washing machine and what to do about then that broke.

I have some garbage to take out and lots of bugs in the garbage can, like little flies.

A lot of people were mean all growing up and when they got older said the contest starts here and say it’s my fault I didn’t accept how I was treated, that I was really mean.

I wish I had time to practice violin, but my parents got sick and died over 4 years … and I am alone and have to work on Disability part time and take the bus.

Does anyone know what to do? I may get money from Lejeune, but it may be too late. I need another part time job after this one helping Santa, preferably close/r to home. I want to play violin and wonder if I need a job that’s more reliable like my dad going into banking, without a business degree.

My dad is from the US and my mom is not from the US or Europe.

The US, they’re here, now.

$150-$300 K / year

A sales job I may do.

I think I was given the okay to train cheaply for a $100-$150 K sales job. I asked its whereabouts and how hard it is to train, to license. I’m awaiting a response. I may be able to pick up a fast food job etc. briefly to make ends meet while training. Also, I want a job with a fixed income provided, not just based on performance or numbers.

Alarm for 10 AM. I probably will spend some time labeling my hymnal and wake up to pee and get something to eat. Bug zapper is on! “The flies filled the skies!” I’ve been working without sleeping a lot. I went to the gym one day, but 2 days later without enough sleep needed a chair and iced coffee!

link

I deleted the photo about Baby Boomers being Willy Wonka pretending we’re in trouble from the list of featured posts.

Sauerkraut and Dumplings with Hot Dogs

The wind chill or whatever was 18 degrees Fahrenheit. I need a sweater under my jacket and extra tight pants under my real pants and thermal pants. I ordered a new jacket since this one’s hood connection broke. It may come in like 5 days?

Work was cool. I had to sit down and get a coffee. I should go to bed after supper. It seems all I do is the job, the bus, and eat. I want to do my violin stuff. I’m still labeling songs I know/like in my hymnal, must be 100 by now, though a few tunes repeated.

People are bothering me in a pattern, sometimes things feel too good to be true, sometimes they just ruin my life. Sounds get to me. Sometimes, it’s like no one likes me, stuck in my studio apartment. I feel bad again, already without the safety of other people present as witnesses.

I’m waiting for the sauerkraut with hot dogs to boil and then I can mix like 5-6 cups of dumplings. I had to borrow $400, reaching my limit and need to find a stable job.

No one gives me the opportunity to earn anything socially?

I’m looking for a high paying full time job to pay off bills til Lejeune or violin!

So, I like someone, and the people monitoring me in private can make them hurt me or others make them?

So, anyway, you took me away from music and my plans to be great in Europe, and then Europe “already” did me, and you made sure to come in and take away the rest of what I have so I can’t have it.

So, all along you “gave it to” others and stole what I had.