I chopped up my bell peppers and am heating them up first, then the beer Brats go on.

“Overstepping boundaries.”

It’s like someone wants me to be bound to someone, as though I bound them to her-

The thing is I’m also cool enough.

So delightful to realize this, is this okay-

Asian at the mall at work

pizza Lunchable

I’m gonna go baton twirling and do some gymnastics outside.

Life is an adventure, and it’s what you leave behind. Death comes and it’s another adventure! Just let go! You made your mark. Life is a wonderful activity.

My parents probably were sad to leave their hopes and dreams behind and for people partly my younger brother and I.

I just realized I have Wednesday off and work Sunday.

To get attention and the best winning power “‘off the bat.”

I applied to one west of Cleveland for Baroque Violin. I signed up for cross country and track and field. I e-mailed them to ask what to do.

I should move somewhere, maybe there, for fun and for a place that has at least 1 bedroom.

I work 3-7 this week Tuesday-Saturday, roughly. It takes like 2 hours to get there if I wanna get there early? I should leave at noon? I should wake up 3 hours before that, so I can wake up, since I take the bus. So, 9 PM. I leave work and get home at like 9:45 PM. So, I have like almost 12 hours before I have to wake up. Sometimes, I need a lot of sleep or don’t just fall asleep early.

My 3rd violin string thinned out at the bridge and is lose to play. I as though I could tell it was coming and gradually!

I hope to replace it ASAP…

I’m sick of toast, I get Dave’s Bread.

I think I will put peanut butter, honey, and jelly/jam/preserves on cookies or something or candy.

I tried to sleep but felt shocked, I know by the people in the apartment, as though that is their duty in the end.

I’m baking some toast to have with peanut butter and maybe jelly or honey.

I might shower and play violin!

Work tomorrow, hope to leave by 11:30 AM. I’ll get there before 1 PM. I can settle and snack on my Lunchable. Work starts at 3. So, I should wake up at 8 AM.

When it snows, I want to go outside in the evening and at night! Bless me for coming up here poor!

I did like it and needed to get in shape but didn’t get to do much.

Other people don’t feel like starting the piano.

I woke up awhile ago and am getting ready to prepare tortellinis.

I am glad I get paid, work Wednesday and Disability Thursday probably.

I am sipping some lemonade. I had a little of those Halloween candies.

I have a few returns, not sure if I’ll do them maybe like next week.

I’ve had ballet on in the background on my laptop.

I am excited to start saving money and hopefully keep up a sales job. I need to practice violin every day, if possible.

I have some tidying up to do but not too bad, wash my clothes for work Tuesday-Saturday. I work roughly 3-7. I usually get time for church, but I don’t always make it. It’s fun if you’re well fed. I wish I had other snacks. I saw someone eating a dry meat stick. Sometimes, they iced coffee. I have my coffee at home, low sugar for the coffee. It’s iced.

So, my tortellinis are cooking. I guess I will tidy up and shower … I may do violin and then laundry or something.

Some people do want a word or so with me or end.

Is orchestras getting giddy just a way of getting it together, and people who can do other things are still okay?

I guess some of Europe says too bad too sad, for poor Americans.

Americans fight too much, just sitting there.

Hopefully, I can still play violin/someday.

Last Post – Column #3

Ballerinas seem to be able to go pro right out of high school or hopefully during!

Many quit at a fresh age.

Column #3

last post (Alternatives)

It seems that a lot of people who’d love the attention that ballet gives like a classically trained musician get sucked into other schools of dance that seem more showy and streamlined.

I showered and washed the dishes up to the silverware since my back hurt a little, I looked back today at the bottom of my coat/jacket, etc. I’ve been told I have a good back, one that has carried much backpack, in school.

I finished that last Mountain Dew of a special fruit flavor, my 2nd tonight. I used a lot of energy I think working.

I’m started my beer brats and bell peppers before my shower and now am having them, 3!

I think a leg has something like a big not so bad bruise, maybe the sugar. I did that last Mountain Dew so I would not drink like 2 or 3 more cups of lemonade unsatisfied. I will probably have lemonade as dessert..

…but what is up with people from 1958 rattling the cart?

I had to pay $20 to get back home since I got a late bus.

I have off tomorrow but work Tuesday-Saturday roughly mostly around 3-7.

I will keep my sales job or was considering being a cop. I still have my dreams in violin in classical music in an orchestra in Germany or something, ideally though. Oh, I mean the sales job that’s new, not the terminating job I have now, with Santa, Christmas photos.

My legs didn’t get tired at work, today! I had a really long day the day before, since someone didn’t show for 2 days, no reason why, disappeared.

I’m on my 2nd bottle of special fruity Mountain Dew, unfortunately, one in the morning, one now. I may have supper, excited about tomorrow being off.

I have to get my December bus pass probably December 1st, Thursday. I work til the 24th. About 2 1/2 weeks of work so far, 4 left. Tonight was busy.

People keep saying bad things about selling from home part time. My taxi driver said he did that and retail his whole life. He didn’t have a straight answer! like maybe it was for some people. I think it would be better than being a cop if I want to learn violin and German. Only part time, too! and then get $100K/year. I need to look into it more. They said sell to 4 families/people a week to make that much. I guess you can cut off once you’ve done that much or just keep going or to whatever end. It’s a dream come true, from home and part time. I need to get licensed, $49 with them. It seems challenging. I wonder if I’ll have to wait til this job at the mall a ways away is over. I may work at like McDonald’s or Popeye’s! to pay bills til I can sell, like I told them.

I have a bit to clean up. Maybe, tomorrow will be laundry, too. I don’t seem to have too much to tidy up for bed. I may shower and eat. My Mountain Dew is almost gone. I may have some lemonade after. It’s a good thing I got a hold of some groceries. I don’t have much money left.

You know, this soda is making me happy. I wasn’t tired, today.

I really want to make saving money a priority, so no eating out. Though, I can get groceries I like. I don’t get too much frozen prepared food, anymore.

I have some things I could return, though it is quite a hassle.

I hope to keep up violin practicing and am happy I can play at church when I’m ready. I think they needed me soon, though. I could get like up to $300 back of returning stuff if I do, maybe more with a slight possibility. That would be a nice help paying bills next month now. I also have plenty of contact lenses. I have like at least 2 extra boxes, 1 of which is coming.

I don’t know about my lease. I just gotta keep working. I dunno I could do both sales and a steady job, wait til I made some money selling gradually but at an accelerating pace? A guy on a bus in a nice area said he worked at McDonald’s, telling this other guy. He just makes the food and gets paid well, no talking to people. He seemed like he was in his late 40s or 50s. The other guy I think gets assistance for mental illness. I said how people at work before cut me off being happy. He said same with him so he was unhappy on purpose! Aha ha ha!

I should research jobs but kinda already know that people sell or are a cop if they don’t have a degree and want significant money, think selling brings in more for people. Some people say it’s a lotta work, but it’s for people without college degrees! It sorta is a dream job if it’s work from home part time still may $100K.

I guess I’ll have some fun, do some chores, shower and eat maybe, for now.

I had a pizza Lunchable before work. I bought a wrap at a gas station and had a little snack pack with cheese and nuts, good idea and tasted nice. I had water. I brought lemonade to work. I have cold water and ice waiting for me at home! and I am at home!

I sprayed my laundry. I didn’t get to sleep much 2 nights ago and worked 2 shifts to sub someone MIA (“missing in action.”)

I will probably take a full shower, with the Bath & Body Works beach set, with perfume/spray.

It’s only 11:52 AM. I missed church and choir this morning. I should be ready by 1:30 PM.

I have to leave to catch a bus at 2 PM. It’s 11:44 PM. I should leave by around 1:30 or 1:45 PM.

Therefore, I am an adult and “in the business.” It’s all from here. I just need a different/new project.

My dad endorsed me on LInkedIn, and now he’s dead.

I know people who don’t sing or who can just act are really excited and sound more emotional when they start to sing, and I want to hear things like this.

When I was young, it was all about if you drank alcohol or not. It wasn’t 2 things, 1, sometimes.

I was a part of reality!

Honey Nut Cheerios

2 Eggs

Low Sugar Iced Coffee

I just got my Instacart+ order within like an hour fo $2 extra. I’m sipping my lemonade and have my soda in the freezer and refrigerator.

I got a bunch of soda and lemonade, plus 3 meals of beer brats with bell peppers.

I know it’s late, 2:16 AM and I have to wake up at 5 or 6 for work at 10:45.

I noticed people.

There was this girl with one of those German-looking moms, here in the US. The girl looked so cute and perfect with bleached hair, maybe brown eyes, pale. Her mom was probably blonde with coarse hair. Her hair was very straight and smooth and thick. It was in a ponytail and probably spiky. She was on the shorter side but maybe taller than me, so maybe 5’3”? She had a baby. Her mom was like, “But … you wanted one?” like she respected her more than her baby.

After a musical, a floutist came out with her family. She had short, spiky, dyed red hair, dark red. Her husband was around her height, slumped over and blonde, looked like a fun professor of the day. The daughter, the only child there at least, was just a little shorter with smooth probably naturally mostly white hair. She was talking animatedly. It was like their family did the right thing and was accepted.

…So, that is to say, my family and I were not as accepted, after all, just because of race. People hate me as a successful person, though, no thanks to my family later on, in strong ways. We used to be like those families. Just don’t look at my mom’s race etc. A lot of families are accepted with Asian moms, or dads, even by Germans and in Germany, still. Huh?

I posted this in the 4th column as “Supremacy Surprise.”

Germany likes Americans who are “good” as in “the good stuff” but not as into being European or German. They think that Americans who are into being European or German, for whatever incentive, are just small versions of them with nothing to offer, in the end-

Anyone?

I took a shower.

I have “The Nutcracker” on my laptop.

My mom did ballet. I feel I’m good at it but no one notices. I didn’t get to do it growing up. I did do it a little and in college, as a declared minor with experience and capability/potential.

I’m doing violin for church and practiced for church maybe an hour today.

I’m thinking of making spaghetti and frozen meatballs, very easy.

I got some fresh air from a walk. I want to practice violin. Work at 3 PM, wake up at 9 AM. Work again Saturday sometime after 10 AM.

3-7 Yyes! Black Friday!!!

I’m practicing for church. I did the warm up type stuff for like 15 minutes or so. I finally had labeled all the songs I knew or liked in the hymnal, writing the page numbers and song titles on the labels, maybe 200, some tunes repeating. I took a break after working on 2 of these songs. I did play a little classical but not much, after the warm up type stuff. I took a break because I was getting tired not wanting to think or whatever.

I just had my Honey Nut Cheerios and iced coffee.

I am manned for before and after work with Lunchables: pizza and nachos, as well as cheese and nuts etc.

Cleveland is a spoilsport, think they don’t have what it takes and so make a scene before they back down. I need to get outta here, maybe Florida again, Southeastern Florida.

It sounds like a lot of what I experience in Cleveland is being intruded by people who won’t give me a chance.

No one ever said they wanted these mean people in Cleveland to get in my business, anyway.

People think I’m not that good, but I don’t have problems.

It’s what I don’t get that’s missing, not something wrong with me.

People who have been inflicting pain on me for things they are to learn in the future that I already know … that is not right.

I know what Early Generation X did and does. Other people put on a pretty show, but everyone looks at me and makes it so it doesn’t work out for me, anymore.

Before you get to get extremely stimulated like others, there are intermediary steps, which are either mandatory or optional.

Classical Music

I am born in 1986 and know about Late Generation X and our generation with parents and guardian generations etc.

It’s already 9:41 PM, and I showered and am in bed!

I was waiting for groceries on this busy day before Thanksgiving, delivery with Instacart+. I feel safe and secure more to eat before and after work and have food for the rest of the month. My younger brother is ignoring me when I ask for savings, too, since I thought I’d already have a higher paying job. I will now, though. I’m finishing up helping with Santa photos for $10/hour and then plan to get another job while I get licensed to sell part time, should make $100K selling to 4 people a week. I already am good at repeating selling photos from Santa, got better at it as time went on. I am trying to work at Popeye’s or McDonald’s, only 1 bus away form home, after this, but I wasn’t table to do an interview with things to do. This job is over December 24th. 1 month left of fun! though it’s stressful living far away and not having much money to worry about at the same time.

So, I did laundry with a new washer, a small one for my studio apartment. It’s quite small. I had to dry my stuff in the apartment laundry room in 2 cycles. I didn’t wait in the room, anymore, after the 1st cycle. It’s so overbearing. I was tired and hungry and uptight.

Now, day is done. My Instacart came like 3 hours late, since it’s Thanksgiving.

Let’s pray I get through this, can’t believe my younger brother thinks he can deal my savings. He already wanted me out of the house when my parents died. People have intervened my peace and serenity socially living far away, too.

I needed to dry my laundry a 2nd time it was so wet or something.

I’m cooking my burgers.

Why don’t people go “line up” for Hollywood and “mind their own business?”

I’m in a developmental stage late, still young.

I’m tired and hungry, and, therefore, I do not like being in here, I feel physically drained and thirsty. I’m looking forward to my cherry Coca Cola; I got a 2 liter.

Do you think I’ll ever get my “big break?”

All this mess won’t help.

I’m in the laundry room drying my clothes. 49 minutes total, 45 left.

I think I’m gonna dry my clothes tonight. I still have a little left to wash, could do it tomorrow. Work Friday and Saturday!

My order started!

They tear you down if your schools were bad but you did good in them.